Dating After Divorce: 25 Things About Sade Curry
Remember when the "25 things about me" vulnerable posts were so popular on Facebook 15 years ago?
Here are 25 things about me to give you a peek into who I am and why I help women navigate dating after divorce with confidence and clarity.
I am a natural-born US citizen. I was born in Saint Louis, MO to immigrant parents who returned to Nigeria when I was two. I'm told I was a very talkative child.
My parents divorced when I was six. We had quite a bit of dysfunction going on, which helped me understand firsthand the challenges of rebuilding after family breakdown.
I grew up in a conservative culture where I was taught to be "nice" and never rock the boat or question things—sound familiar to any other women who struggle with setting boundaries when dating?
I was held to very strict standards as a child and expected to take care of adult situations - which led to people pleasing, not expressing wants and needs, and always putting myself last. This pattern followed me into my first marriage and had to be unlearned before I was ready to date again.
I was in a gifted program in high school. I was raised in an environment that over-valued achievement and I always felt pressured to be a perfect "A" student. Getting good grades and high achievements was the only way to get love and approval.
I studied Chemical Engineering in college and worked as an Information Technology Analyst for many years—proving that smart, accomplished women deserve fulfilling relationships too!
I LOVE reading and traveling. Beaches are my absolute favorite place to be. Finding your passions again is crucial before jumping back into dating after divorce.
Up to my late 30s, I was a member of a religious community that taught me to sacrifice everything for my marriage. I had to redefine my worth outside of being someone's wife.
I got married at age 21 and was married for 17 years. I got divorced at 39. The divorce took 3 years to finalize. The question of "when am I ready to date?" haunted me during this transition.
I started a blog in 2004 called "Confessions of a People Pleaser." I used to have such low confidence, conflict aversion, and difficulty saying "no." I walked on eggshells in my first marriage because I wanted to avoid conflict and so badly wanted to be liked by everyone in my life.
I have 2 biological children and 3 adopted children. I homeschooled the kids for many years. The children are now thriving teens and young adults. Dating as a mom brings its own unique challenges!
My ex-husband filed for a divorce when I stopped keeping the secrets about his toxic habits, anger, and rage, and started going to therapy, and setting boundaries. I learned to recognize the signs of a low-effort man and never accept that treatment again.
I was a coffee-lover for 20 years, but my midlife body now can't handle the caffeine which makes me super sad.
I have had to work through my own anxiety, trauma responses, abandonment, people-pleasing, denial of wants and needs, and low confidence with my own coaching tools. These are essential steps before healthy dating can begin.
I have always been a self-help junkie. I read all the things, took all the classes, went to all the groups, and watched all the videos to figure out how to transform and create my best life after the divorce. This quest led me to develop dating questions to ask potential partners that reveal character quickly.
A year after the divorce, I returned to the workforce after 8 years of being a stay-at-home mom and started earning over 100k—proving that reinvention at 40+ is absolutely possible!
I started my divorce recovery coaching practice in 2016 and quit my job to go full-time during the pandemic in 2020. Now I help women navigate dating after divorce with confidence.
I met my totally hot, smart, and supportive second husband in 2018. We met on Bumble after 18 months of online and offline dating. We broke up once for 10 days. Yes, dating after divorce can lead to finding your person!
I feel heightened anxiety at least once every day. Sometimes it's just a brain-fart. Sometimes, it's a call to awareness. I teach my clients to listen to these signals when dating.
I have 3 coaching certifications: Trauma Recovery Coaching, a Life & Relationship Coaching, and Feminist Coaching—all skills I use to help women avoid settling for low-effort men and instead find fulfilling relationships.
I have close to 10 "failed" businesses in my past. I see them as practice runs for the successful business I run now. Just like dating—each experience teaches you something valuable!
I remarried in June 2019. We're closing in on 4 years and I'm so glad I didn't wait endlessly before dating. There's no perfect timeline, but when you're ready to date, don't let fear hold you back.
I can be super-goofy and sassy, but I don't always show that side of me in public. My husband, children, friends, and clients get a peek, and I laugh a lot in those settings. Dating should bring out your authentic self!
I have 2 best friends. One has been a friend for 18 years, the other for 27 years. Strong friendships sustain you through the dating process.
I am an extrovert, I'm good at networking, love most social situations and social media. I've also learned to cultivate a safe, nourishing community around myself—a crucial support system when you're dating after divorce.