3 Dating Blindspots That Keep Divorced Women from Finding Love After 40
Are you wondering when you're ready to date again after your divorce? As someone who coaches divorced women over 40 on their dating journey, I've identified three critical blindspots that keep amazing women from meeting loving partners.
These blindspots feel like facts. But when shifted, they create the biggest breakthroughs in your dating life.
I'm not talking about deep family trauma patterns. It's the subtle, normalized societal thinking that keeps us stuck in dating limbo.
Blindspot #1: "It's Not the Right Time to Start Dating"
Honestly, when has anything ever been the perfect right time? We've been conditioned to accept it's the right time when someone else says so:
"You're 5 now. This is the right time for kindergarten, honey."
But we all know that IT DID NOT FEEL RIGHT to that little child. She screamed bloody murder as mom carried her into that strange building!
But she went in anyway, and thirty years later, she's reading this article because she learned to read. Part of the dating after divorce journey is taking that first step that might not feel comfortable, but creates WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU.
Blindspot #2: "I'm Too Busy for Dating Questions and Relationship Building"
Again, when was the last time you found an unused box of time just waiting for you to fill with dating activities?
You don't find time—you MAKE TIME for the things that matter. We make time every day for things we DON'T EVEN WANT TO DO: taxes, unclogging toilets, calling difficult relatives.
You plan to have time to snuggle and adventure with your future partner, right? Use that time NOW to get out there and find them. Don't let the low-effort man win by putting in no effort yourself!
Blindspot #3: "The Dating Landscape is Awful for Women Over 40"
This last one tugs at my heart because yes, you do hear about some challenging experiences in the post-divorce dating world.
But we overemphasize the worst stories and make dating after 40 seem way scarier than it is. Humans always gravitate toward dramatic relationship stories:
You watch a two-hour movie and the happy ending lasts only five minutes
A happy couple who met after divorce, enjoying financial stability and morning coffee together is "boring"
That's why you don't hear about these success stories—but they exist, and you can be them!
The right dating questions to ask aren't "Is the dating landscape terrible?" but rather "How can I navigate it successfully?" When you shift these blindspots, you'll discover that dating after divorce can be an empowering, exciting journey of self-discovery and new love.