Is Fear Driving Your Dating Patterns After Divorce?
The fear of intimacy after divorce is a very real issue.
When you've been hurt that deeply, the last thing you want is to experience that pain again. So you find clever ways to keep your distance from the risk of making a commitment.
Recognizing Your Dating Defense Mechanisms
You settle for basic romantic relationships with non-committal partners—someone to fill the space, knowing you won't ever have to "sign on the dotted line."
You might gravitate toward:
Long-distance relationships with no realistic plans to move closer
Half-hearted engagement with dating apps
Brief text conversations that provide entertainment but never depth
This way, you never have to confront how stuck you still are in past hurts. If things don't work out, you can easily blame "all the weirdos" in the dating pool rather than examining your own reluctance.
When Dating Questions Become Too Painful to Ask
You get comfortable with keeping life safe. Every time the desire for more emerges, you squelch it. Over time, that squelching muscle becomes a well-developed habit.
Because you've given your brain so much power to suppress your desires for a relationship, everything about dating appears excessively difficult. Swiping your finger two inches on your phone feels as exhausting as hauling bricks.
You notice the pattern repeating but can't quite identify what's wrong.
When Am I Ready to Date? The Truth About Healing
Listen—meeting your partner and creating a loving relationship is THE BEST container for personal growth. It becomes a vehicle for bringing up all the emotional baggage and clearing it away so you can show up fully engaged to enjoy the very best life has to offer.
Dating after divorce requires courage, but the rewards are immeasurable. Recognizing a low-effort man early saves you from repeating painful patterns. Learning to ask the right dating questions helps you filter effectively and connect authentically.
It's time to get off the sidelines and get in the game.
I can help you create a vibrant life where you make real progress on the experiences you want to have. The skills you need are embedded in my coaching process—designed specifically for divorced women over 40 who are ready to transform their dating experience.