Should You Tell Men EXACTLY What You Want on Your Dating Profile?

Are you ready to dive back into the dating world after divorce? As a woman over 40 navigating the modern dating landscape, you might be wondering about the best approach to create an effective dating profile.

There's a common misconception about dating profiles that simply isn't true:

"To weed out time-wasters, you should list exactly what you want on your profile so that anyone who isn't interested in that life won't contact you."

So many divorced women write in their profiles things like:

• "Looking for someone kind, interesting, who enjoys evenings out at the movies and meaningful conversations"

• "Seeking a long-term relationship with good communication"

• "Swipe left if you're just looking for casual dating"

And then they find themselves STILL getting messages from low-effort men who clearly don't want a committed relationship and who have characteristics they EXPLICITLY stated they didn't want.

Cue frustration and the firm belief that "there are no good men online" or "dating after divorce is impossible."

Why Your List of Dating Requirements Isn't Working

Here's the truth about dating after divorce: Making a list of what you don't want doesn't deter the wrong people from contacting you.

In fact, the men you don't want don't care what you put on your profile. If anything, you've given them a script of exactly what to say to convince you they're right for you. These are often the key dating questions to ask yourself: "Am I attracting genuine connections or just people who know how to say what I want to hear?"

And on the flip side, a list of requirements isn't attractive to quality men. Neither is a checklist of what they need to be to satisfy your criteria for a relationship.

Lists of requirements on a profile are an attempt to skip authentic connection and character judgment. And it simply doesn't work in the complex world of dating after divorce.

When Am I Ready to Date? Creating a Profile That Works

Your profile should clearly communicate:

1. Who you are authentically

2. Your lifestyle - both current and future

3. A clear vision of what a relationship with you will feel like

Your dating profile should pulse with the energy of what life with you will look like. That is what repels the time-wasters and stops the scroll of the man who will be genuinely interested in YOU.

Are you an extrovert who spends 5 nights out of 7 enjoying the cultural scene in your city? Your profile should express that vibrant energy. When it does, homebodies will naturally skip your profile.

This approach will save you from getting excited about someone, going on a couple of promising dates, and then discovering he's a low-effort man who only wants to "Netflix and chill" for the rest of the relationship.

The Dating Questions to Ask That Really Matter

Instead of listing requirements, focus on:

• Authentic self-expression

• Leading with your core values and mission

• Evaluating and discerning character through thoughtful dating questions to ask on early dates

These are the keys to attracting the kind of man you want in this new chapter of your life. When you make these changes, the quality of your dating pipeline dramatically improves.

Creating a unique and powerful dating profile is one of the essential steps I deep dive into with my clients in my coaching practice, especially for women navigating dating after divorce when they're finally ready to date again.

Want More Help? Click Here to Discover Your Core Values Dating Blueprint And How You Can Use It On Dating Apps, and In-Person To Attract Eligible Men Who Match You (without chasing, settling, or wasting time with low-effort men)