Anger
I almost never use the words "let it go" in my coaching practice
I don't actively teach my clients to forgive their exes (insert pearl clutch here)
Why? By the time a client comes to me, they've been told to forgive 100s of times
They've laid awake at night expending all their energy trying to forgive - investing even more time and thought into their ex in the bid to hurry forgiveness along
Instead of being encouraged to hold space for themselves
Because most people are uncomfortable witnessing their anger
They find it hard to sit with a woman who has lost so much and hold space for her to be angry about it
To hear her story and help her process without trying to hurry her along
Who can permit her to dislike her ex and call out how awful he was
Until…the emotion is fully processed and she feels the relief that they call forgiveness
It makes us uncomfortable to hear that there are some horrible people in the world
That some people do walk around with no consequences for their actions
So they ask my clients to suck it up, to forgive, to hold it in, to stop playing victim, stop complaining
I, instead, give them permission to make space for anger
So sit with it and let it talk
Just like David in the Bible felt comfortable venting his anger. He expressed his desire for his enemies to fall into a pit and live in endless darkness - for their memory to wiped off the earth
The interesting about anger that is allowed and processed is that one day you wake up and realize you don't need it anymore
Then and only then is forgiveness available - the capacity to "let it go" only comes when the burden is no longer crushing you
When anger is processed fully, forgiveness is automatic , you wake up one day and notice that you haven't thought about the ex in days or even weeks.
So if you're angry today, take a moment to sit with it. It's here to tell you what you've lost - it's inviting you to acknowledge it and grieve.
And that's okay.
If you find that you’re still experiencing heartbreak, anger, anxiety or hurt from your divorce and you’d like to work with me 1:1 to fully process it.
Schedule a call with me here: http://sadecurry.com/schedule-appointment