Dating After Divorce: Breaking the Cycle for Women Over 40
It's Time to Get Off the Dating Rollercoaster
You thought you had a connection with him. You went all in and came out burned again because you wear your heart on your sleeve. You love with all your heart or not at all, and you get hurt, close up, shut down, and hide away. Then you get tired of being alone, and you try again. Except... you're still wearing your heart on your sleeve, so the vicious cycle continues.
Getting burned a couple of times happens to everyone. But if that's ALL that's happening to you, something else is up. You're stuck in romance compulsion - all or nothing loving that is slowing your journey to love waaay down. It's keeping you from finding a loving and trustworthy partner when dating after divorce.
When Am I Ready to Date Again?
It's time to break the cycle. Grow up out of the lovesick "tween" crushing stage and high school romance mode, and develop mature emotional boundaries. This is the first sign you're ready to date again - when you can approach relationships with emotional maturity rather than desperation.
You can learn to enjoy a man's company without falling headlong. You don't have to intertwine your future with theirs. You can be open, warm, and friendly while also being assertive and unattached. You can spot a low-effort man before investing your heart.
Essential Dating Questions to Ask
This is what adult dating looks and feels like:
Having all the fun
Smiling, flirting, and laughing
While asking the hard questions
Having the difficult conversations
And making the tough decision to only permit real, mature love in your life
The right dating questions to ask help you identify compatible partners and avoid those who aren't ready for the relationship you deserve. Questions about values, relationship goals, and how they've handled previous breakups can reveal whether someone is genuinely available or just another stop on the rollercoaster.
I teach my students how to move out of Romance Compulsion into Confident Dating - a journey that's especially important for women over 40 navigating the dating landscape after divorce in today's challenging world.