Obsessing Over the Wrong Man
Have you ever met the “perfect” but “not-interested-in-you” guy?
He just wants to be friends, but you know the two of you are the perfect match: He’s such a good guy, you have the same interests, you have such a good time, and your kids are just the right age
You fall hard even though he’s never indicated anything but mild interest
You get all giddy and zone in on him
All your waking hours are now spent trying to figure how to get him to make a move - or at least respond to yours
I get it, you like him (and I’ve been there before) but attaching to him in your head is making you feel invisible, unwanted and frustrated
If you’ve met this guy, showed interest in him and he doesn’t reciprocate, move on ASAP
No, he’s not “just shy and needing more encouragement”
No, he doesn’t “need more time to realize you’re the best woman for him”
Crushing on a man who is showing no interest in you is a waste of your smart, resourceful and creative mind
Because your brain is an incredible problem-solving machine
It goes to work finding answers to your problems
By obsessing over one guy you’ve given brain the wrong problem to work on
You’ve given it the job of trying to change another human being
Basically, it’s spinning in a wild goose chase
You’re investing your precious time and attention in someone who doesn’t want them
In fact, by focusing on this guy, you’re showing little interest in yourself
You’ve abandoned your goal of meeting someone great, who loves you back and also wants to invest in a relationship
No wonder you feel frustrated
To break out of the obsessive crush loop going nowhere, give yourself the love and attention you want by noticing your own self - your best qualities, your purpose, your goals, your core values
Notice how big the world is - there’s 7 billion people on the planet, all waiting for you to connect with them
Break out of the tiny fear bubble of thinking that this is the only eligible guy left in the world
Create new options for yourself by giving your brain the job of finding 10 other potential partners who are actually interested in you
Make space in your heart and mind for someone who will see and appreciate you for who you are
Feel the expansion and possibility that comes with that
That feels so much better than playing both sides of the tennis court in a fantasy relationship with Mr. Nice Guy
Now get out there to meet other people and create new connections that will lead to that relationship that is safe, loving and lasts a lifetime
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