There was a time I wasn't sure getting married again was for me.
I was free and fresh out of the dark fog of divorce
It was awesome
I couldn’t imagine anyone invading my space
Throwing a wrench in my plans
Not holding up their end of the partnership
I was going to keep myself safe and happy flying solo
I had my Golden Girls picked out and decided when the time came, we would buy a home by the beach and retire together
(This still sounds kind of fun, actually)
Then I met a divorcée who also had decided not to get married again
But she had way better reasons than I did
“I’ve really never wanted to be coupled. I knew before I got married the first time that marriage wasn’t for me, but I did it to make the people around me happy”
She had no desire to get married AND she was spending ZERO time thinking about dating and remarriage.
None.
She was out in the world, traveling and building and living the life she knew she was meant to live
I, on the other hand, was making my decision based on running away from the challenge of creating the life that deep down I wanted
I wanted a real relationship, but I was secretly afraid I would never find on
I was dipping my toe in the water and hopping out every time it got hard
I was letting the painful past dictate the future instead of creating the future I wanted
I was saying I didn’t want to get married, but secretly hoping and wishing an amazing man would walk into my life
And it wasn’t working because I had one foot on the accelerator and another on the brakes
I’m glad I had that conversation. This was such an example of living out what is possible
Of intentionally focusing on what you want in life
And taking steps out to get it
Of taking 100% responsibility
This is the approach that brings a relationship vision to life
I did a 180 on what I was doing to create love in my life
I decided that it was up to me if I was going to achieve my goal of a second marriage
I stopped hoping and wishing
I did the work to change my relationship patterns
I faced the challenge of moving through every hard spot in the journey
And the results have been incredibly worth it
I adore having him in my space
This healthy, happy relationship more than makes up for every past painful moment
I’ve created and experienced more moments of loving connection in 3 years than the previous 40
I adore having him in my space
And this is just the beginning
I embody the results of completing this quest and I pass this on to my clients
I teach them how to own their journey and exercise personal agency
To shed feeling unworthy of love and boldly claim what they want
Knowing and owning what you truly want is the best prevention for settling for what you don’t want or simply letting life happen to you
If like me, you truly want a loving relationship, but aren’t sure you can make it happen, schedule a call with me to get started on this work