Ideal Self

Dating after Divorce

What’s your Persona?

And is it keeping you from authentic connection when dating?

The self-deprecating, funny, never-offending “best friend” who doesn’t understand why men don’t take her seriously

The “motherly” fixer who makes friends with all the men, and then wonders why they choose to date & marry her girlfriends instead of her

The Persona is the self you project to the world to  bridge the gap between who you really are and who you think the world wants you to be

It’s made up of responses that get you through life where you can’t be yourself and can’t quite be your Ideal Self

The Ideal Self is the standard you’re supposed to live up to as  presented to you by your ex, your family, religion, TV, and culture

The message is that who you really are isn’t quite good enough

My Ideal Self was educated, successful, paragon of virtue (as defined by whoever was in my presence in the moment)

A high-achiever, but also pleasing to all, nice and helpful, non-controversial, able to make everyone and everything better

And I spent decades trying to become her

The only thing that happens in that process is that who you really are gets buried deep down underneath the Ideal

The Ideal Self makes everything about the Real You “wrong”

And because it’s NOT YOU, you can never measure up

Cue the never-ending cycle of self-doubt and self-criticism

Because every spontaneous impulse or idea has to be examined and questioned and likely tucked away because it was “not right”

What would happen if today, you decided to respond out of your authentic, spontaneous response in a particular moment?

What would you say or do differently in your relationships?

What would change on your dating profile?

Are there questions that, you know, you're not asking? Are there conversations, you're not having other things in your life that you're not doing?

Would you stop shaming yourself for who you really are?

Would you be willing to let go of the people who can’t love the real you?

How could that change your dating results?

Let’s dig in on your consultation call: http://sadecurry.com/schedule-appointment

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