What Actually Creates Dating Success After Divorce?
What ACTUALLY creates success in dating after divorce when you're over 40?
A client of mine, a recently divorced woman in her mid-40s, told me that her other single friends questioned her decision.
"What in the world is a dating coach, and why would you hire one? Especially when you're just getting back into dating after divorce?"
This question sums up the common misconceptions people have about what it takes to meet and partner with a loving and trustworthy man when you're starting over in your 40s.
They think that all you need is to swipe enough times and get lucky enough to meet a good man. This is the "relationships are a lottery" belief. It's simply luck and you don't need a coach for that!
Common Dating Misconceptions When You're Ready to Date Again
They think what creates successful dating after divorce is:
Finding the right dating app
Putting the magic words in your profile about being newly single
Dress up and look nice to hide that you're over 40
Swipe 1000x and go out on 300 dates with low-effort men who aren't serious
Being nice - giving any and all men a chance because your "options are limited" after divorce
Swing from being more picky to being less picky every week because you don't know when you're ready to date
Send the "perfect" text from the list of dating questions to ask that you downloaded online
Follow the dating "rules" that worked in your 20s but feel awkward now
But then you're doing all the things listed, but it's still not working, so you become exhausted and give up, blame "the dating scene for divorced women" or think that it's because there's something wrong with you.
But going online and swiping is just scratching the surface of the true requirements to create real love after divorce.
Essential Dating Questions to Ask Yourself After Divorce
Here's what you ACTUALLY NEED to meet high quality suitors and create a match within six months or less when dating after divorce:
The confidence to be your fully expressed and authentic self so that you show up attracting people who match who you are – not who you were in your marriage
Clarity on who the right man for you will be, so you know when you're ready to date and stop trying to fit square pegs in round holes
A high value dating strategy that includes both online and organic ways to meet men who are compatible with you (not just random low-effort men from an app)
The confidence and mindset to show up consistently to meet people online and offline
The emotional energy and mindset to not getting burned out every week and taking long breaks - which slows down your dating after divorce journey
Becoming an excellent judge of character - without being judgmental - so you stop "hoping" every man is the one and can identify low-effort men quickly
A life you enjoy and are present in everyday - so that not having a partner yet doesn't make you sit in despair, desperation and frustration about dating after divorce
Complete healing from past toxic relationship patterns from your marriage so you stop repeating them
The next level of social skills to connect with people, make an impact and be memorable - both online and offline when asking the right dating questions
Knowledge about dating at this stage of life that helps you filter out men who aren't ready for what you need
…These and more are what my divorced women clients over 40 master when they work with me on dating successfully in the United States.
Relationships are not a casual consideration. Yes, dating after divorce is a challenge, especially when figuring out when you're ready to date. The more reason to be serious about getting good at getting results. Now, not later.
Here's your invitation to stop scratching the surface, work with me and get the love you want after divorce.