Do you love your single life or are you avoiding growth?
I have a friend who says “I have zero desire to get married again”
And I believe her
Her zest for life is evident
She is growing and changing and doing EVERYTHING else she wants to do
She has traveled solo to many countries
She is doing work she loves
She enjoys vibrant relationships and feels fully alive
This is not the same as staying single because it’s easier
I get it
The fear of intimacy after divorce is very real
When you've been hurt that deeply, the last thing you want is to get hurt again
So you keep your distance from the risk of commitment
You lurk and dabble half-heartedly off and on the apps
You settle for basic romantic relationships and long-distance flirting with non-committal partners
Just something to entertain yourself and pass the time
Someone to fill the space, knowing you won’t ever sign the dotted line
So you don’t have to address your triggers and past pain
Life feels comfortable and safe
Every time the desire for more comes up, you squelch it
But soon that squelching becomes a habit
You become an expert at suppressing your desire for a relationship
Everything starts to seem excessively difficult - no time, no energy, too busy
Swiping your finger 2 inches on your phone feels as exhausting as hauling bricks
But you still spend hours overthinking, doing busywork, scrolling social media, binging Netflix, and venting about the “men out there”
Doing everything other than what you REALLY want to do - find love and create something extraordinary
You don't use the time to create a new relationship but you don’t use it for anything awesome
Listen, creating a relationship is just a container for personal growth
A way to get all your limited thinking out of the way so that you show up to engage and enjoy the very best life has to offer
The process stretches and grows you and makes you come alive in amazing new ways
Just like traveling the world does for my friend
It’s time to get off the sidelines and get in the game of life
So, do you love your single life or are you just avoiding growth?
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