Using Dating Apps: How to Know If He's Serious

How to Know If He's Wasting Your Time

You know how tricky it is when you're trying to figure out if someone on a dating app is worth your time? 

You stare at your phone, thumb hovering over a potential match's profile. Something feels off, but you can't quite put your finger on it. 

Maybe it's where they're from. Maybe it's that they work in sales. Or maybe it's just your own baggage talking. 

Your mind goes into overdrive to figure it out until you finally make a random decision and let the chips fall where they may.

Sound familiar?

The Dating App Verification Game

When you're trying to find someone serious on dating apps, your first impressions matter—but they're not the whole story.

"Trust your gut, but bring your brain along for the ride."

This might be the most important advice you'll ever get about online dating. Your intuition needs feedback to grow stronger and more accurate. If you rely only on your first impression without verifying through continued conversation, you're shooting in the dark.

How Can You Tell If Someone's Serious?

You've matched with someone new. They seem nice enough in their profile. But how do you know if they're actually serious about making a connection? Here's how to find out:

Watch Their Communication Patterns

Pay attention to how they talk with you. Are they responsive? Do they engage with your questions thoughtfully? Do they respect your boundaries?

Take this example: A match gives you their number but doesn't pressure you to use it. That shows respect. They're letting you decide when you're comfortable moving the conversation off the app.

"Feel free to text if you're comfortable or have time," they might say. No pressure. Just an option when you're ready.

Ask Strategic Questions

Keep asking questions to verify your impressions. If you ask thoughtful questions with follow-ups, you'll know pretty quickly if you want to move ahead.

Questions that match your core values will help you interpret answers without bias.

Their answers—and how they answer—will tell you volumes about their seriousness.

Separating Red Flags from Personal Preferences

Sometimes what feels like a warning sign is actually just a personal bias.

You might think: "He's from that conservative neighborhood—probably not right for me."

Or: "He's a sales executive. They are gone all the time."

These aren't necessarily red flags—they're preferences. Don't confuse your personal dislikes with actual concerning behavior. Get curious instead of generalizing.

Retraining Your Dating Intuition

Your dating radar gets better with practice. But only if you verify your hunches instead of just acting on them.

When you meet someone new, work on becoming aware of your first impressions vs the pattern that emerges.

This is how you retrain your intuition. With each interaction, your judgment will get sharper.

Setting Boundaries While Exploring Connections

It's perfectly okay to keep conversations on the app until you feel comfortable moving to texts or calls. Someone who's serious about dating will respect your pace.

A person worth your time will understand.

Note:

If you are not attracting quality people with your dating profile, this process will be overwhelming and simply engaging with the worst types will burn you out.

You need a dating profile that is actually interesting to the type of people you want to talk to. If you are tired of encountering low effort men in your dating life, start by creating a dating profile that repels them. The Captivate Dating Profile System helps you craft the best dating profile possible for attracting men who are looking for a real relationship and repelling low effort men from messaging you. Click to Learn More. 

Bottom Line:

Between judging profiles and managing conversations, it's easy to fall back on snap decisions. But finding someone serious requires both intuition and verification.

You don't want to infer all the time. You want to know.

So next time you're swiping and chatting, remember: trust that gut feeling, but bring your brain along to verify what your heart is telling you.

Your intuition is powerful. But it needs facts to grow stronger.