Your Dating Mindset is Critical to Success
From the day I first got on a dating app to the day I met my husband, Kent, was 18 months. And that included a 3 months break I took to focus on offline dating. I got in, got my husband and got out.
One of the reasons my dating after divorce journey was so successful and short was that I never gave space to a thought that it wasn’t possible for me to find an amazing man who would be everything I wanted and would be completely interested in me.
I just believed that he existed somewhere and eventually I would meet him if I kept showing up at my highest self in the dating spaces.
And I did. I had moments of doubt and irritation at what I experienced, but they were just moments. I never let those moments overwhelm my larger belief that true love was for me
That belief that I was more than worthy and capable of true love helped me show up confident, curious and learning, happy and enjoying most of the experience of dating
This emotional state is what helped me confidently reach out to Kent when I saw his profile. We matched the day after he joined the app and I instantly sent him a message. No procrastination or overthinking. He messaged back and that was that.
He was literally on the app for 2 days.
What I see with women whose journeys are so rocky and painful is that they take the moments of “I’ve tried everything” “It won’t happen for me” “dating these days is awful” etc
They take those moments of doubt and they sit in them as their main belief for months at a time.
Every profile they don’t like is used as proof that only the not so good guys will like them
They reached out to the very few profiles that they liked and those men didn’t get back, and they feel so crushed because it took everything in them to send that one message.
And they stall for months at a time. They spend all their time waffling, venting, reading long social media threads of other women who think dating sucks.
Or they quit.
And where else in your life are you stalling, waffling, venting and quitting instead of going after what you want?
Sitting in dating limbo feels justified and it seems unsympathetic when I call it unuseful. But it’s not useful because what you really want is your soulmate
You don’t want to sit at dinner venting to your friends, you want the small wedding by the beach with your closest friends in attendance
You don’t want to send another crappy profile picture to your group chat, you want your man texting you telling you about his day and sending you funny memes
You don’t want to practice your clapbacks for the family christmas party, you want to sit in the corner canoodling with your fiance while everyone laughs and tells you to get a room
So now what?
I recommend doing a 180 degree shift in the mindset you take to dating. If you look to your past and current circumstances, your mindset will remain anchored to the things that have not created the result you want.
You need new information in order to create a new perspective.
You can’t see it differently if you keep looking at it the same way you always have or if you keep discussing it with the same people in the same way
Open yourself up to new information
To the possibility that things can be different, even if you don’t know how
Become willing to let go of socially approved habits of dating negativity that keep you stuck
Working with me gives you a new perspective on all the aspects of dating. We bring all the conscious and unconscious beliefs holding you back to the surface and you learn techniques to rewire your brain for dating success.
You learn strategies for successful dating both on and off the apps. Every stage is broken down for you - finding the right guys, swiping, texting, conversations, dates, saying yes, saying no, moving forward, breaking up, asking questions…all the things
And weekly evaluation and feedback that makes dating easier and easier until you connect with your amazing new partner.
And finding love is SO WORTH IT. The sooner you start, the sooner you get to love.