Dating After Divorce: A Mindset Revolution for Women Over 40
Are You Ready to Date Again? The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything
When is the right time to start dating after divorce? This question haunts many women over 40 who find themselves unexpectedly single again. The dating landscape has changed dramatically, and facing it can feel overwhelming. But what if the secret to finding love isn't about mastering dating apps or asking the perfect dating questions—but rather about transforming your mindset?
My Dating Struggle Was Real
I never expected that my husband would live just 30 minutes away from me. Back in early 2018, I was convinced there were no good men in my city.
Every day brought the same frustrating pattern:
I kept hitting the bottom of my online queue
The men who liked me weren't what I wanted
The men I liked didn't respond to me
The few decent men I met in person were emotionally unavailable
I questioned everything about myself. Was my ethnicity the issue? Was I too intimidating because I was successful with my own opinions? Was I destined to encounter only low-effort men who wouldn't invest in a relationship?
After wasting months with someone who clearly wasn't right for me, I grew sick of the endless swiping, confusion, and negging from men who seemed determined to undermine my confidence.
The Turning Point in My Dating Journey
It wasn't until I changed my thinking that I stopped feeling stressed and crushed about dating.
As I did the inner work, I shifted to the empowering belief that I was fully lovable and that love was 100% possible for me. My new mantra became:
"I'm pretty sure my husband isn't in this city, and I might have to move to find him. But I'm going to keep practicing and having fun. Wherever he is on the planet, I am for sure the woman who will find him."
When I embraced the certainty that there was someone out there for me AND I was fully capable of meeting him, it completely changed the game.
What I Stopped Doing When Dating After Divorce
I made conscious choices to stop self-sabotaging behaviors:
Being ashamed of being divorced and "back on the market"
Getting frustrated with dating apps
Obsessing over when I'd meet "the one"
Wondering if I was unconsciously sabotaging my journey
Chasing men with perfect profiles
Using disappointing matches as evidence that something was wrong with me
Being emotionally attached to the outcome of every date
The New Dating Approach That Actually Worked
Instead, I started:
Dating and interacting with men simply as fellow humans
Actively discovering myself and enjoying my life as it was
Traveling more and meeting people wherever I went
Honestly sharing my accomplishments, opinions and values on dates
The Unexpected Result
And less than 2 months later, I met my husband.
He was right there in my city all along—totally compatible, completely trustworthy and transparent, and all in on building a long-term relationship.
The Dating Questions That Really Matter
When coaching women on dating after divorce, I often hear them ask:
"When am I ready to date again?"
"What dating questions should I ask on a first date?"
"How do I avoid another low-effort man?"
But the most important question is actually: "Am I approaching dating with the right mindset?"
Your Dating Success Story Is Possible Too
Dating can be transformative for you too. When you coach with me, I teach you all the steps I took to meet my partner, combined with powerful coaching tools to:
Heal your old relationship triggers and patterns
Shift your mindset to one of powerful confidence
Recognize and avoid low-effort men who waste your time
Know exactly when you're ready to date again
Ask the right dating questions that reveal compatibility
After doing this work with so many women for four years, I can help you with your unique dating scenario. The path to love after divorce begins with believing it's possible—and you deserve nothing less.