Dating After 40: Understanding Romance vs Love
If you're a divorced woman over 40 navigating the dating landscape again, it's crucial to understand the difference between romance and love. This distinction can help you avoid common pitfalls and find a truly fulfilling relationship.
Romance vs Love: Don't Confuse Them
When you're ready to date after divorce, remember this important distinction:
Love is non-negotiable for a relationship to be healthy, meaningful, and long-lasting.
Romance is wonderful, but negotiable and looks different for different people.
The ideal scenario? You want both in your new dating life, but understanding their differences will guide you to ask the right dating questions and avoid low-effort men who might offer one without the other.
What Does Real Love Look Like?
When dating after divorce, look for these signs of genuine love:
Thoughtfulness and affection
Laughter and safety
Trust and peace
Being your authentic self
Kindness and steadiness
Reliability and calm
Warmth and mutual reciprocity
Collaboration and partnership
Growth and understanding
Appreciation and friendship
Gentleness and care
Flexibility and emotional availability
Presence and stability
Fulfillment and honesty
Dependability
What Does Romance Look Like?
Romance can include:
Intensity and passion
Flowers and thoughtful gifts
Special trips and dinners
Cute social media pictures
Heightened emotion
Thrills and excitement
Adventure and poetry
Dramatic gestures
Breakfast in bed
Finding Your Perfect Balance When Dating Again
Your ideal relationship after divorce will have a firm foundation of love with the right amount of romance mixed in. This is especially important for women over 40 who have learned from past relationships.
Important dating advice: Where there's no love, there's no chance for a long-term healthy relationship—make it a hard no, regardless of how romantic someone seems.
Practical Steps for Dating Success After Divorce
Make a list of what love looks like to you. This helps answer the question "When am I ready to date?" If you can clearly define what you're looking for, you're likely ready.
Make a separate list of what romance looks like for you. Every single one of my clients had a different answer for what romance would look like for them—you decide, don't let external sources set unrealistic expectations.
Make love the first consideration and a deal breaker in any dating relationship.
Choose someone who is a match for the quantity and quality of romance you want—this is your decision and an important dating question to ask yourself.
Never settle for a relationship that has romance without love, which is a common trap when dating after divorce.
Avoid relationships devoid of both romance and love, often characterized by low-effort men who aren't invested in creating either with you.
Schedule your consultation call with me to create the relationship that is your own perfect mix of romance and love. Learn to identify the right dating prospects and ask the important dating questions that will lead to a fulfilling relationship after divorce.