How to Identify a Low Effort Man

Dating after Divorce

My husband thinks I’m a rockstar. 

Last night he brought home a book titled “The 100 Most Influential Women of All Time.” He said he was mad at the writers because I should have been listed in it. This is why I love the guy 😆. He is a super-high effort man.

But, a low effort guy, Cody (not his real name) that I dated for some months also thought I was a rockstar and he said so often.

Here’s an email that he sent me after I stopped responding to his texts:

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Subject: Howdy

Hey - just wanted to see how things are for you.

Hope all is good.

I am sure that it is - you are a bit of a rock star.

Anyway - if you don’t feel like replying that is ok - just wanted to say hi.

-cody

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Cody always responded to my texts and he would initiate contact. He took me to the movies and dinner. He was fun, smart and we had great conversations.

It took me months to figure out that the relationship was going nowhere. There was no obvious sign. 

He always answered positively when I asked about a commitment, but I started to notice that there was no integration into each other’s lives. He canceled opportunities to meet my friends.

There were long absences for “good reasons” and other very subtle signs that my intuition picked up on.

So I broke off the relationship amicably and distanced myself. In truth, there was no real relationship to break off. It just seemed like there was one and I fell for it, wasting months I could have spent on other things.

Even after I broke it off, he would text every couple of months for the next 18 months hoping to catch me at a vulnerable moment. Because he had nothing to lose. But I had moved on.

I learned a valuable lesson from Cody: Moving on quickly from the wrong men is the key to finding love quickly. I took the lesson and ran with it.

Less than a year later, I was in an exclusive relationship with my husband.

This is not a formula or checklist. It's a dynamic skill. Cody is only one type of low effort kind, there are many versions.

You have to know in the moment of interaction what kind of information to gather, train your intuition to be savvy, learn to listen quickly to your intuition, interpret correctly and make a decision without second guessing yourself.

If finding love is taking you years, I can help you train your intuition to stop falling into relationships that are more of “textuationships” or “situationships” and are going nowhere.

I hold my clients to the highest standard of relationship when they are coaching with me, which is why when they do find love, it is the real deal.

Coaching gives you the support you need along the way so that you can not only stop the heartbreak and enjoy dating but create real love that lasts a lifetime.

This is what life is for: love, connection and relationships.

I know you can get the love you want, and I want to support you every step of the way.

If you’re willing to show up and do the work, I know I can help you.

To work with me book your consult call: http://sadecurry.com/schedule-appointment

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