Are You Really "Too Busy" for Dating After Divorce?
The Truth About Finding Love When You're Over 40
"I'm just too busy to date right now."
Sound familiar? If you're a divorced woman over 40, you've probably said this to yourself (or others) more times than you can count. But let's get real about what's actually happening here.
The "Too Busy" Excuse Masks Deeper Dating Fears
"This isn't the right time" and "I'm too busy with work" aren't schedule problems—they're protective shields your mind creates to avoid the vulnerability of dating after divorce.
What's really going on beneath the surface? Deep down, you might be wrestling with questions like:
Am I too old to start dating again?
Am I still attractive enough?
Will I recognize a low-effort man when I see one?
Can I trust my judgment after my divorce?
What if the whole process is painful and exhausting?
Your brain senses you're about to take a significant risk and step way outside your comfort zone. So fear kicks in, and your mind offers up the perfect excuse: "I'm too busy, I don't have time for dating right now."
The Comfortable Alternative to Dating After Divorce
If you're "too busy" to date, you get to avoid all that anxiety. You won't have to:
Learn new dating skills
Navigate dating apps and websites
Ask yourself the important dating questions about what you truly want
Build faith in the possibility of finding love again
Meanwhile, it's so much easier to pour yourself into work, isn't it? Moving and shaking things in your career is at least within your control. The validation from professional success is immediate and clear.
So you tell yourself you'll focus on dating when you have more time, when work slows down, when you're not so busy. Then you can date at a leisurely pace.
When Will This Magical "Free Time" Arrive?
Be honest with yourself: when was the last time you were NOT busy?
The real questions to ask yourself about dating after divorce are:
What other goals and dreams do you have on hold because you're "busy"?
What if there actually is enough time right now for you to find the love you want?
What if right now is exactly the right time to prioritize your romantic goals?
What if your brain is just tricking you into staying stuck?
How Are You REALLY Spending Your Time?
To create the life and love you want after divorce, you have to prioritize your personal growth and be honest about where your time goes.
Are you exhausted at the end of each day but don't feel like you've moved closer to your personal goals? Are you letting work consume your entire life? Is this really how you want to live?
Try this essential dating exercise:
Log your time for a week to see EXACTLY where your hours are going
Be brutally honest about how much time you spend:
Overworking
Scrolling on social media/watching TV
Snacking
Worrying and overanalyzing
Getting involved in other people's drama
Making Room for Love After Divorce
It's time to reclaim your time and attention for your own life—healing, growing, learning new skills, asking the important dating questions, and yes, actually dating.
If you want love, you have to make time to cultivate it. How else will you have time to nurture a marriage when it comes?
When divorced women ask me "When am I ready to date again?", I tell them the real question is: "Am I willing to make space in my life for love?"
Are You Ready to Stop Being "Too Busy" for Love?
Part of the work I do is helping my clients take control of their time and create space in their lives for the love they want—even while juggling work, kids, businesses, or aging parents.
If you're a divorced woman over 40 who wants to remarry, my 1:1 coaching program may be just what you need to reorganize your life and make room for all of your goals.
Together, we'll clean up the worrying, procrastinating, and overthinking that's keeping you too "busy" to find love. Instead, you'll take meaningful action toward building the relationship you deserve—with a man who puts in the effort you're worth.
Stop hiding behind "busy" and start creating the time for the love you truly want.