Waiting for Him to Notice You? Why Dating After Divorce Requires a New Mindset
Are You Ready to Date Again? The Truth About Waiting for "The One"
So there's the man you met and you thought, "maybe we could have something together."
He was in your network and seemed super-compatible. You figured out ways to run into him and strike up conversations, but nothing happened. He was super friendly, but never wanted to move the relationship forward.
But you kept waiting around for something to spark up, as months and maybe years have rolled by.
The Hidden Reason You're Stuck in Dating Limbo
The reason you're doing this is because you have a scarcity mindset about finding a good man. This man has attributes that you mistakenly believe you won't find anywhere else - "he's got to be the one!"
And then you start to see the "signs" that he's the one:
You have kids the same age
You both had the same college major
Plus, if you could just get him to ask you out, your life would be so much easier. You wouldn't have to put yourself out there and do the work to meet someone - especially if you believe there's no one out there for you.
Essential Dating Questions to Ask Yourself After Divorce
The belief that there's no one out there for you keeps you circling and fantasizing about a man who will never ask you out, keeping you from doing the work of finding the men who are actually interested in you.
Ask yourself:
Am I ready to date someone who truly values me?
Why am I settling for a low-effort man who shows minimal interest?
What dating patterns am I repeating from my past?
Recognizing the Low-Effort Man in Your Dating Life
The desire to stay in your comfort zone has you settling in your mind for a man who is emotionally unavailable to you, who isn't wild about you, who doesn't think you're the best thing since the iPhone.
You're dreaming about a relationship with him because you're not in touch with your true needs. You think it's okay for your person to be lukewarm about you, and you're ready to hustle for his love.
When Am I Really Ready to Date? The Mindset Shift
Reversing this type of thinking means reclaiming a deep sense of your own worthiness, lovability and preciousness. Until you feel deep down in your soul that you are 100% worthy of having a relationship that nourishes your soul, not one that has you hustling for crumbs.
This is what coaching with me is all about.
I can teach you the mechanics of dating in a few hours. The real work is on your mind - the way you see yourself, past relationship patterns, insecurities and worries that have you overthinking and stressing about 99,000 imaginary dating scenarios.
Transform Your Dating Experience After 40
When your thinking changes, you will have no qualms about saying no to a less than stellar relationship. The same way you would never consider handing your kid over to a stranger because of how precious they are, you will be so fully aware of your own value and the preciousness of your life and future that you won't consider tolerating a low-caliber guy.
When your thinking changes, you'll effortlessly step into the spaces where you will connect with the man who's right for you. Your man-picker gets reset. You'll stop wasting weeks on end hoping and waiting to see if a man will finally show up for you.
Dating Questions That Lead to Success
Being treated well becomes your new normal, not a luxury. And if he doesn't show up, you won't crumble with rejection or take it personally. You'll know that his behavior was about him, not about you. And you'll confidently move on to the next.
Changing your scarcity thinking makes dating a fun ride. You'll generate the momentum that gets you to your soulmate partner in a short amount of time.
Yes, growing yourself is harder work than waiting around to get picked, but growth is how you make a true dream relationship happen in the American dating scene.