Relationship Trauma
Finding Love After Divorce: A Guide for Exceptional Women Rediscovering Dating
Relationship Trauma: Silencing Your Inner Critic When Dating After Divorce
I have had hundreds of conversations with women whose confidence has been shaken by relationship trauma. When you are exceptional, talented and resourceful, it can be a shock to your system when you find yourself in a relationship that makes you question everything about your world.
You know how to get things done, you check all the boxes, some might say you had a type A personality. But underlying it all is a nagging voice that never seems to go away when contemplating dating after divorce.
It's like a low hum, always under the surface of the outward high-functioning optimism. The voice assures you that things are fine just as they are:
"I don't need a relationship." "I'll get to dating someday." "When X happens, then I can take the chance."
And so time drags on, keeping you from asking those critical dating questions that would move you forward.
The voice paints you as a problem that will never be solved:
"You're too old, too tired, too busy, too bossy, you have issues, what's wrong with you?"
So you go on a lifelong quest to fix yourself, but there's always something to fix before you feel ready to date again.
The voice questions your moves - Am I doing right? Am I good enough? Will I ever be loved and accepted?
It causes you to hesitate before taking a step into the dating world. Sometimes that hesitation gets drawn out into years of indecision about when you're ready to date again.
Secret dreams of finding love that don't come to light. Dating profiles drafted but never posted. Dating books purchased but never completed. Dating questions to ask written down but never asked. Potential connections not pursued.
Breaking Free From Dating Hesitation
What if the voice is the problem that needs fixing, not you? What if you could step back from the voice and realize it's not real?
It's just a channel on the radio of your mind and you have the power to change it. How different would your dating life be if you could quieten that unending stream of worry and negativity?
If you could have a flow of peaceful, inspiring, joyful and empowering thoughts instead, you wouldn't waste time with low-effort men who don't appreciate your value.
Then you could step into dating from inspiration and power, not dread and fear of getting it wrong. Then you could have a stream of peace and confidence in knowing exactly when you're ready to date.
You could enjoy your dating successes instead of tearing them down.
Healing the negative "Inner Critic" voice is a key component of transforming your dating life after divorce. When you turn a negative voice on yourself, it poisons the well you expect love to flow from, it keeps you from taking risks and asking important dating questions, and it keeps you spending money to distract yourself, wasting hours scrolling dating apps without meaningful connection.
One key sign that you have this issue is that you cannot abide silence or simply being with yourself - you always have a TV show, song, sermon, podcast or audiobook playing whenever you are alone. You need the white noise to drown out and keep you from being overwhelmed by the inner critic that tells you you're not ready to date.
If you want help to turn this voice off and get to enjoy peace, productivity and the confidence to ask the right dating questions at the highest level, I can help.
A key part of helping you rebuild your dating life after divorce is dealing with this voice that keeps you from recognizing low-effort men and knowing when you're truly ready to date again.